Posted by: GreenerGreenGrass | _

You Might be a Lawn Geek If…

In my line of work I am fortunate to interact with a lot of lawn geeks.  Seriously, you wouldn’t believe some of the detailed questions I get.  I like it because I get to be helpful, but I also often end up learning something at the same time.  So, please consider this a tribute to all the lawn geeks out there.  Like this guy…

Lawn geek tattoo

You might be a lawn geek if….

  • You have ever started a sentence with ^%#&ing bindweed / crabgrass / chokeweed / [insert evil weed nemesis here]
  • You have spent hours looking for funny lawn pictures (that one might just be me..)
  • You follow GreenerGreenGrass on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+  (You know you want to…)
  • You have your own worm bin to collect castings
  • You brew compost tea, not English Breakfast
  • You use a home-made device (AKA a tuna can) to measure rainfall and/or how much your sprinkler emits
  • The word “Bermuda” does not make you think of a sunny island getaway or the Triangle of certain doom
  • You get excited by the smell of manure being spread on your luscious green lawn
  • You have ever trimmed a single grass blade with a pair of scissors (I’ve seen it happen…)
  • You count the days until your soil test results arrive in the mail

What lawn geek behaviors do you have?  I would love to add more to the list!


  1. Haha. Funny list. I think I am a lawn geek. There, I said it.

  2. It’s official, I’m a lawn geek! Every time one of my friends smells manure, he says “smells like money!”

  3. We have a tortoise that enjoys going out on the lawn on non-rainy days in the summer (not many of those so far this year!). So, I’m not allowed to use nasty chemicals to get rid of weeds, clover etc. In fact, dandelions are one of her favourite foods!
    This means that I can often be found crawling on the lawn pulling out clover by hand…….how sad!

  4. Well…I’m guilty of 6 of your points above…which means I’m definitely a lawn geek! Here are a few others I’m guilty of: (1) I think it’s peaceful to watch a sprinkler oscillate, (2) I look at my lawn just about every time I walk by it, (3) I know the height that I cut my lawn at (and my friends have measured it with a ruler before to make sure!), and (4) one of my dream jobs would be working on the grounds crew of a professional sports team. Wow…after writing those out and reading them myself, I think I need professional help!

    • Ernie, you are definitely a lawn geek! I love those additions to the list, thanks for your comments!


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